So. As threatened I bring to you a much-delayed post.
After an incredibly fulfilling summer of riding bikes and getting back on my skateboard after a lengthy hiatus, I’ve found myself in college doing a mental health and addictions program. It’s interesting being back in school as a “mature” student. I’m flourishing and enjoying the coursework. Having received my first A+ ever, I was shocked and pointed out to my girlfriend that I’d never seen one of them before. As a kid, school was incredibly challenging. The coursework was interesting but slow, the rest of the kids were all dicks and I had much more pressing things to pursue outside of the classroom.
It’s this that I find to be the best part about returning to school, rewriting my personal narrative. Over the years I have grown and changed (thank god) as a person but those long-held narratives, the stories I consistently tell myself have been stuck on repeat. Like Glycerine throughout the mid-90s, I hear the same thing in my head over and over.
The imposter syndrome at times remains rife. I still view myself as a shitty drug addict that would use intimidation and manipulation to get what I want and yet, how I pass through the world these days is in opposition to that. Those old narratives die hard. Neurological pathways formed long ago forged deep within my grey matter. They are thought patterns that take immense work to fill in. I’m almost at the point where I might believe the evidence in front of me.
Looking back I can see how much I have learnt, how much much has been revealed in the way I interact with the world and those around me. My purpose in taking the course I’m enrolled in is to become better at helping those who are struggling with mental illness and addiction. I feel as though my lived experience on both sides of the fence will be of great value to someone, someday.
I’m curious, would those of you who have read this far be interested in more content about overcoming mental illness? Destigmatization of mental illness and addiction? And if so, how would you like to receive such content? Does this blog feel like the place for it or should I start a new platform dedicated to those issues and leave The Boring Glory to oversharing my feelings and motorcycles? I know the comment section on this site is wack as fuck, so feel free to DM me on the gram, call me, text me, shoot me a smoke signal or whatever.
As always, thanks for following along!
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